Sunderland in Europe? Nonsense!
All this talk of Sunderland qualifying for Europe is nonsense. Without a decent striker, they'll be scrapping it out at the bottom.
It's all well and good for them to splash the cash on Craig Gordon, but their money would have been better spent on a frontman.
Don't get me wrong. I think Gordon's a good keeper.
And watch closely. He's got a huge mouth on him for such a young guy and you'll see him barking at his defence all game. He's full of confidence and sure of his ability.
But to stay in the Premiership you need someone who is a threat upfront and that can get you goals, and Roy Keane should have made it his priority to sign a 'been there, done that' striker.
I admire Keane for the incredible job he did last season, and I have no doubt he will go right to the very top as a manager, but this is his first serious mistake since he stepped into the dugout.
You can't go into a Premiership season without a decent frontman (just look at the likes of Watford last season - their fans must still be cringing at the amount of chances Darius Henderson missed - and Birmingham the season before) but Roy Keane and Sunderland are doing just that.
Yes, I can hear you all saying, "But what about Michael Chopra!"
Michael who? I don't deny he scored goals for Cardiff last season, but there's a bit of a difference between playing against Barnsley and Man United.
He's too inexperienced and doesn't have the quality to outfox defenders or score 15 to 20 goals a season in the Premier League. That's why Newcastle got rid of him. Not worth the money.
And now you're probably thinking, well aren't Stern John, David Connolly and Dwight Yorke experienced?
Yes, they are, but they're not good enough to do it at this level. In John and Connolly's cases they've never been good enough, whereas Yorke is well past his 1999 best.
Even if he did play upfront (he'll almost certainly play in midfield) he's not got the fleet of foot to turn his man that he used to have.
He had this uncanny ability to create an extra yard of space for himself, which made him the player he was, but at the age he's at now, and especially at this level, he'll get found out.
And with the unproven Anthony Stokes and Daryl Murphy as back up, Sunderland could be in real trouble.
Keane needed to sign a prolific, experienced striker with pace to trouble defenders. He hasn't and Sunderland will suffer. I think they'll go down.
But who will join them? Here's my bottom 10.
The also, also rans
Portsmouth have bought well and they now have the depth in their squad to survive comfortably in the Premiership.
Sylvain Distin is a great scoop for Harry Redknapp, while I'm expecting Gary O'Neill to improve on his excellent season last time out. If he does, a move to a much bigger club beckons.
Next will be Bolton. Sammy Lee has taken on a poisoned chalice in following a legend like Sam Allardyce. He got his teams to massively overachieve and this season should see Bolton fall back to their natural position. 12th for the Trotters.
In 13th will be Manchester City. Sven-Goran Eriksson has brought in a lot of foreign players but the biggest name (and longest for that matter) at the club remains the Swede. Martin Petrov is the only true 'class act' acquisition.
Eriksson has taken the job as a stepping stone and I can't see him being at City for longer than two seasons. He's only there to put himself in the frame for one of the top jobs.
He'll be hoping to finish in the top half, maybe eighth, and win a cup. If he does that then he will consider himself a chance for a job with the top four. After all Ferguson, Mourinho, Benitez and Wenger could all conceivably leave within the next two seasons.
However, he would have helped his cause if he'd signed some decent players. Most of them will flop and City will have another season of mid-table mediocrity.
Middlesbrough desperately need to hold onto Yakubu and if they do they will finish 14th, closely followed by Reading.
The Royals did extraordinarily well last season, but have lost their best player (Steve Sidwell) and haven't added to their squad. They won't go down, but they won't find it anywhere near as easy.
The also, also, also rans
Next will be 'Northern Ireland' Fulham. Talk about buying players you know. Lawrie Sanchez has recruited what seems like half the team he used to manage.
Unfortunately for Cottagers fans, there won't be much nice football on display. Sanchez loves the long ball, so watch out for Brian McBride playing whole games with his back to goal and Diomansy Kamara or David Healy forlornly chasing flick-ons or balls into the corner.
Just surviving will be Birmingham, purely on the basis that they are not as bad as Sunderland, Wigan and Derby. I don't think they'll do it with Steve Bruce at the helm, though.
David Sullivan and David Gold have been extremely patient with him, but with Carson Yeung holding a big stake in the club now, the former Man United star will be out of a job before the season's over.
Olivier Kapo's signing is a coup, expect Mikael Forssell to show why he was so highly rated a few seasons ago and watch to see Gary McSheffrey prove himself.
Sunderland will finish in 18th, followed by Wigan. The Latics haven't been the same since they sold Jimmy Bullard and Jason Roberts one year ago and the way they've bought this close season reminds me of Manchester City a few years ago, when they went out of their way to sign players on their way down like Steve McManaman, Trevor Sinclair, Robbie Fowler and Paul Bosvelt.
Mario Melchiot, Carlo Nash and Antoine Sibierski fit that same bill. If I was a Wigan fan I'd have no faith in Chris Hutchings having seen what a disaster he was at Bradford. A long season awaits.
I have no doubt Derby will finish last. Robbie Earnshaw will get goals for them (I still think West Brom would have stayed up if they hadn't sold him to Norwich in January 2006) but they don't have anywhere near enough quality to survive.
And what is it with newly promoted managers wasting money (or trying to waste money) like nobody's business? I'm really impressed with what Billy Davies has done at Preston and Derby, but a £5m bid for Kenwyne Jones? Derby fans will be breathing a huge sigh of relief that Southampton had a moment of irrationality and turned them down. Ridiculous from both clubs.
Do you think Sunderland will go down? Can Eriksson transform Manchester City? Will Steve Bruce be the first to get sacked? What is your bottom 10?
Next week ... a look back at the weekend games
Posted at: 24.08.2007
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